Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Arizona football roundtable: The 2016 Wildcats as a movie

What movie describes this season?

The 2016 season has not gone well for the Arizona Wildcats. That much everyone knows.

But how to describe it? Well, we’re going to do our best by comparing this season to a movie:


Drake Horner: I had to see Ratchet and Clank earlier this year and it was pretty terrible. Wanted the dollar I paid back from the movies. Just bad.


Alec Sills-Trausch: My first thought was Titanic but because lives were lost, I feel that might be too dramatic. So I’ll go with Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Easily the most frustrating book/movie of the series which made you want to pull your hair out for like 600 pages. However, you knew awfulness couldn’t continue forever and I’m putting hope in that this is as bad of a year as we can go and it can only get better… well Dumbledore dies in the next one so maybe in two years (foreshadowing a new coach?).


Brandon Combs: I would say Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith and Star Wars: A New Hope. In Revenge, the Jedi Order and the Republic cease to exist and the galaxy looks like it'll never see the freedom it once enjoyed. That has been the season to this point. But in A New Hope, the Rebellion destroys the most destructive weapon the galaxy has ever seen and dealt a temporary, albeit crippling, blow to the Empire. In the end, they won a very important moral victory and did this against all odds. This symbolizes the Territorial Cup game. ‘Cats win and finish the season on a good note.


David Stevenson: The 2002 beating of a film, Gerry. The audience anticipates Matt Damon and Casey Affleck, who are the only two characters on screen for the entire movie, will be highly entertaining providing witty dialogue knee-deep in sticky situations. Instead, the duo wanders around the desert for 90 minutes mostly in silence that culminates with Damon choking Affleck to death.

Fans’ high hopes and loyalties were rewarded with garbage from that movie and this UA football season.


James Schlittenhart: Howard the Duck. Succinctly said, “one of the worst movies ever made… a monumental waste of time.”


Jason Bartel: I’m going with The Ring. First off, that whole movie has to do with a big ol’ 0 the entire time, which perfectly represents the Pac-12 slate for this team. Second off, it’s set in the state of Washington, which has been the scene of two of the biggest massacres Arizona has endured the last two years. And if you’ve watched video of this particular football team, you have been cursed for the rest of your life and your tv will randomly turn on in the middle of the night.


Gabe Encinas: I’m honestly not much of a movie person so this is tough. I probably go to the movies about once a year so my options are slim. After thinking about this for days, I still can’t come up with anything. Maybe I’m not that creative or maybe I’m just at a loss for words. But in case anyone wants to know my top three movies of all time: Cinderella Man, Pursuit of Happyness, and American Sniper.



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